Typing Derby Paragraph Megathread

As the world tethered on the brink of anarchy a new hope arose. An elite international task force, charged with ending the war and restoring liberty to all nations. Overwatch. Soldiers. Scientists. Adventurers. Oddities. Guardians who secured global peace for a generation. Under its steadfast protection, the world recovered. And today, though its watch has ended, its sowing ideals of freedom and equality will never be forgotten.

Seven hundred and sixty one armless and legless corpses float inconspicuously around the inside of hangar ninety six. I say that they are inconspicuous because it is their arms and legs which demand my attention. I did this, or I could have stopped it. Which is it? It doesn’t matter now. I did this and could have stopped it, but nothing in nature ever follows a gaussian curve. Sure, they’ll tell you that it does. They say that every five minutes someone dies in a car accident, but how often are there seven hundred and sixty one armless and legless corpses in one hangar?

Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn it’s simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity.

Final Paragraph from Captain Vor’s Void Speech from Warframe


After all it’s not that awful. You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.

From the 1949 movie- The Third man

This movie had a very good soundtrack.

1 Like

Through the ruin of a city stalked the ruin of a man. His clothes were tattered and grimy, his skin blotched and diseased over wasted flesh. On his head was a gleaming metal helmet. He walked with the stiff, jerky movements of a robot—which was exactly what he had become.

The robot man moved through the shattered rubble of a once-great city, a fitting inhabitant of a nightmare landscape.

In time he came to a river, a sluggish, debris-choked, polluted stream which had once carried great ships. He quickened his pace, sensing that the water would pro-vide the thing he sought—a way to end an existence of misery and pain.

When he came to a gap in the embankment wall, he marched stiffly through it and plunged into the water below. He fell, like a log or a stone, making no attempt to save himself. Dragged down by the weight of the helmet, his head sank beneath the grimy waters. There was something inhuman about the manner of his death—but then, he had not been truly human for a very long time.

1 Like

Did you do it? Did you do it? Did you crunch the numbers, you did the research, you put the time in? You crunched the research, did you do the numbers? Did you fact check yourself? Did you rewrite history? Did you crunch the numbers, did you research it? Did my own research. Looked up a couple of things the other day, took me about 10 minutes. Found exactly what I needed to find but did you do it? Did you crunch the numbers? Did you look up the research? Did you find out the online synergy that allowed you to fully expand your workflow so that you could, research, the topic at hand? Did you do your research?

1 Like

Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa Transit System. This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa Research Facility personnel. The time is 8:47 A.M. Current topside temperature is 93 degrees with an estimated high of one hundred and five. The Black Mesa Compound is maintained at a pleasant 68 degrees at all times. This train is inbound from Level 3 Dormitories to Sector C Test Labs and Control Facilities. If your intended destination is a high security area beyond Sector C, you will need to return to the Central Transit Hub in Area 9 and board a high security train. If you have not yet submitted your identity to the retinal clearance system, you must report to Black Mesa personnel for processing before you will be permitted into the high security branch of the transit system.


Everything about Brostep is a god damn lie. People call it “bass” music when it has no bass. Those are ear-splitting mid-range frequencies popularized only because the primary listening devices of today’s generation are crappy iPod earbuds, even crappier laptop speakers or, worse yet, iPads and iPhones; which are small and contain neither dynamic range nor bandwidth. The bass has been marginalized because most people can’t hear it through their pitiful systems. The mid-ranges have been turned up to headache-inducing levels to compensate.

1 Like

Yeah, that’s definitely gonna get put in the game.

They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tacks, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers


Long ago, there existed a “world”. A world different from what the people on these islands think of. This “world” was incredibly big. More people lived on this world than there are grains of sand on these Nowhere Islands. I know it may be hard to imagine, but such a world once existed. At some point, the world wound up destroyed. Naturally, it was humans who destroyed it. In the back of their minds, everyone had an inkling that it would happen at some point. And then it really did happen. …And so, the world is no more.

Today’s seminar is about a subject near and dear to my heart: Reality Benders. Type Greens. Mary Sues. Bixbies, Shapers, Wizards, Gods, Devils, Outside Observers, call them what you will, these are the guys that change reality based on perception and willpower. I’ve made a career out of both containing and killing these guys. You’re here to get certified to do the same thing.

A lot o’ people don’t realize what’s really going on. They view life as a bunch o’ unconnected incidents ‘n things. They don’t realize that there’s this, like, lattice o’ coincidence that lays on top o’ everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you’re thinkin’ about a plate o’ shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o’ shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.

Here I am. Gordon Hogg, the eldest of the three Hogg brothers. I love my brothers too much. I just can’t get enough of them. In fact, I only like doing three things: Looking at my brothers, thinking about my brothers, and dreaming that an insane doctor is sewing my brothers and me together. Hark! I hear the approach of a man. By the sound of the footsteps, I can tell that it is my middle brother, Prentice Hogg.

You spend the rest of the day sitting in your empty office and flipping through magazines looking for pictures of vegetables. Every time you find a picture of a vegetable, you pick up the phone on your desk and say the name of the vegetable. There is nobody on the other end of the phone, but you like imagining that you are telling someone about a vegetable. You do this for the rest of your life, then you go to the bathroom. No mysteries happen to you at all.

The museum was founded in 1790 when George Washington ordered this enormous building to be constructed so that he could sit in a glass cube with his shirt off and American citizens could come look at him. George Washington spent the majority of his presidency in a glass cube on display in the Smithsonian with no shirt on. He believed it would be educational for Americans to get to see what the president looked like with his shirt off.


Once upon a time, a legend was whispered among shadows. It was a legend of hopes. It was a legend of dreams. It was a legend of light. It was a legend of dark. This is the legend of Delta Rune. For millennia, light and dark have lived in balance, bringing peace to the world. But if this harmony were to shatter… a terrible calamity would occur. The sky will run black with terror and the land will crack with fear. Then, her heart pounding… the Earth will draw her final breath.

Only then, shining with hope… Three heroes appear at world’s edge. A human, a monster, and a prince from the dark. Only they can seal the fountains and banish the angel’s heaven. Only then will balance be restored, and the world saved from destruction. Today, the fountain of darkness- the geyser that gives this land form- stands tall at the center of the kingdom. But recently, another fountain has appeared on the horizon… And with it, the balance of light and dark begins to shift.

How could one man have slipped through your force’s fingers time and time again? How is it possible? This is not some agent provocateur or highly trained assassin we are discussing. Gordon Freeman is a theoretical physicist who had hardly earned the distinction of his Ph.D. at the time of the Black Mesa Incident. I have good reason to believe that in the intervening years, he was in a state that precluded further development of covert skills. The man you have consistently failed to slow, let alone capture, is by all standards simply that, an ordinary man. How can you have failed to apprehend him?