I copied this from my steam account
I can make a sword.
I can make senpai notice you.
I can spam the black box.
I can demospam
I can die in most games.
I have 5 billion penguins.
I can cook bacon.
I can understand Thaumcraft researching.
I can make cats appear out of a sword.
I can mod Starbound.
I can SDK Hammer.
I can Pixelart.
I can follow the Jackshack plan.
I can follow the Jackshack 2.0 plan.
I can become a massive creepy hand.
I normally buy the Humble Bundle.
I can’t do horror games, whether good or bad (Unless the bad isn’t actually scary).
I can ruin birthdays (Apparently).
I can be offended and not care.
I can be british (because I am).
I can waste money on purely vanity things just so I can have it.
I can watch a roof fall with someone on it, and then they die.
I can make cake.
I can eat cake.
I can eat bacon.
I can make bacon sandwiches.
I can sleep (Unlike some people cough Scouts cough).
I can tell Sir Jasper to not touch me.
I can (with a group of other people) get kicked out a pool.
I can live (Most of the time).
I can talk some German.
I can type fluently.
I can get bored.
I can have loads of games for the sake of having loads of games, look at my game completion rate.
I can resist Gaben’s money stealing powers (Most of the time).
I can’t be good at first person shooters.
I can send random videos to you if I want you to watch them.
I can move house two three four five times.
I can know computer terms and understand Doc.
I might have broken time and space for all of us.
I can lightning bolt.
I am a weak form of otaku (This isn’t my final form).
I can Photoshop, most of the time.
I may have a stroke after playing Antichamber.
I don’t know why, I love Tacacho’s “Black Swan”.
I got 99 problems, sadly the b**** is one.
I can have frosty fingers, dot net (Product placement).
I can Unity, a bit.
I can craft robo.
I can’t understand the price of the apple pen.
I can pronouce Aluminium correctly.
I can write incredibly long lists of what I can/can’t do.
I can say 5 random word “Great Rap At Cannon England”.
I can be good (In most people’s eyes).
I can sometimes mispell words on the internet just for the sake of it (Eg That - taht).
I can quack
I can say “I can”
I can have a dog, and I do, Woof.
I can’t think of anything else to put on this list.
I can lie about the sentence above.
I can break games, sometimes in really weird ways.
I can say that all of the above is true (probably).