Sacked : a Tower Unite creepypasta

This may or may not be Tower Unite’s first ever creepypasta, this is a test of my writing skills so please leave feedback, enjoy.

Warning : Gore, blood and animal abuse

Sacked

It was the summer of 2018, i was just playing a casual game of TU minigolf like usual with my cat is downstairs doing things cats do of course, it was pretty fun chatting with people
but one stood out from crowd, Saku is a backer and appears to have been playing for quite a while, he has a bit of a quirky personally but he seems like a nice guy, we played golf for
a while and have pleasant conversations , later on he invited me to his condo to watch vids and talk some more, so i accepted his invite.

Saku’s condo looks normal but i got this weird vibe, particularly the abundance of catsacks all over the place, don’t get me wrong I’ve seen my fair share of weird condos but damn
this condo looks like a cult owned property, and it doesn’t look like Saku is joking either, he seems to have a really strong catsack fetish, i mean who the fuck would spend an
equivalent of The Infamous SD1 Wom jackpot on body pillows and paste catsacks on them, i told myself that i was just taking him way to seriously and that i’m a fool for even
thinking about it, so i just act normal about it and proceeded to follow Saku down the basement to find one cool looking theater, other than the catsack shrine with way too many
candles it looked quite nice to be honest, i sat beside saku and he started to add videos to queue and so do i.

the videos he showed me were normal with memes at first, then it was weird memes and then it just straight up nonsense like when you leave autoplay on for 6 hours or so, after
that it ended on some old ass soviet documentary about a doctor experimenting on animals, cats in particular, idk why i stayed for god knows how many hours so after that i told him
that i wanted to go and play some ballrace or something, he seemed okay at first but i’m beginning to tell something is up, he definitely wanted me to stay but i said i am bored
so i left and then proceeded to play some Battlefield like i usually do when i’m bored with TU, but when i joined a server i was instantly surprised when a certain message showed
at the chat log.

“Saku has joined the server”

this guy just somehow found me here even though i am using a different client and username, i was okay at first and he and i played for a while but as soon as he refers to me by my
other accounts usernames i kinda freaked out a bit, but when he refereed to me by my full name i was absolutely scared, “okay, wtf” i said, i left the server immediately and decided
to block him since this guy seems to be a stalker of sorts, but before i even have the chance to do so a message popped.

“OwO why u leav” Saku said
“ok idk who you are but stop stalking me”
“but i wanted to be friends :(” said Saku
“what kind of friend stalks ppl huh? yeah no thanks” i typed
“ok, but before you go i want to gift you something” he said
“and give you my address, no thanks now fuck off” i typed for the last time to him
“who said about you giving me my address, the present is already there :)” he typed

that’s when i noticed a sound of glass breaking, i almost pissed myself at that moment, i called 911 and i wanted to hide in the closet but that’s when i remembered my cat is downstairs,
while i am usually cowardly i decided to go outside and find her as stupid as it sounds to go downstairs and potentially get stabbed by a stalker,so grabbed a flashlight as the
lights were turned off outside and proceeded to go downstairs and try to be as silent as possible, it seems that the guy already gone so i sigh at relief, but then i saw drops of
blood the floor leading to the kitchen, i realized that he might have killed my cat and rushed to help her if she is still alive, when i reached the kitchen i was expecting to see
her lying on the floor with a stab wound, but what i saw was much much worse.

i saw what was my cat now turned into a sack, its stitches crude and exposes a bit of blood and gore and god knows what, but that wasn’t the worst part, the worst part came in the
form of a meow, a cry for life as my cat suffers from the pain, she was very much still alive and faintly begs for help, i didn’t cry nor did i did try to help as the shock was
too much for me, but as my shock fades and as try i comfort her so she can calmly sleep for its last time, i saw a note and its message echoes and haunts me for life.

“Your very own catsack, yours truly Saku”

End.

revision 1 : fixed some typos.

6 Likes

Riddled with typos and the pacing is way too fast but, for a first attempt, it’s not too bad.

This is dark as hecc, good job

I didn’t like the ending, but that’s probably because I don’t like cats dying. Besides that, nice pasta.

1 Like

[edit] wow I did not mean for this to be this long, but it comes from a place of love for creepypastas!

The concepts shown in this as pretty interesting, but it’s the execution that lets it down. The whole story feels rushed and there are several aspects that need further development, such as the protagonist. They don’t really have a character in this story and I think the story would benefit greatly from a further look into who this person is, and the relationships she has already with the rest of the characters. For example, we don’t see a lot from her relationship with her cat. If her cat is the big twist to the story, we should get more information about how she feels about her cat. Maybe have the cat play a more central role as a way for the protag to feel comfort, (think se7en). We also don’t get a lot of development with the antagonist and their switch from friend to murderous stalker is very sudden and jarring. This should also receive further development. Overall thought this presented some really interesting ideas for a first time writer and with some development this could be really great. One other point would be to tidy up the punctuation. Also another side point, your profile pic made me burst out laughing, very nice.

yeah its too quick, i might do a revision later, mind telling me which part of it is too quick?

It’s more that the individual ideas need a bit more explanation. The story could use with a few more paragraphs dedicated to setting up who the protagonist is, for example their daily routine, it’s a bit cliche but it works. We also don’t get a sense of how they actually feel about TU. Maybe a very small bit on how they got into the game? Also try to include the cat, maybe a scene of it providing comfort to the protag just before going on to the chat scene? Going to be honest, you’ve done more than I have, I’ve never written a pasta, just read a whole bunch, but you have some great ideas that with time with really be amazing!

dont revise it bad grammar is what makes a creepypasta

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It’s really not. Plenty of great creepypastas are very well-written. Ted the Caver, Ben Drowned, Jeff the Killer, and No End House just to name a few.

Please forgive me for the last link, it’s been edited on the CP wiki and wasn’t this racist when I read it. If you go on the page itself you can see the original text.

As I was saying previously before the post got deleted, I think the examples that Balian posted aren’t the best as they have several examples of errors in punctuation and their stories are quite flawed. I would recommend reading stories such as ‘F’ oranges, though ignore the blurb, the story itself is thoroughly entertaining. I will post links to the other stories:




thanks for the feedback, the whole thing was written on a single day and on a on screen keyboard (that’s right, a point and click one) so i was not comfortable when writing, ill revise it later

also off topic, that reply was actually delayed because it was awaiting approval since i’m new here but coincidentally got approved in your (jackpot’s) reply

1 Like

A couple of those are just 404s but if the park one and the tape one are the ones I’m thinking of, theyre great and absolutely chilling. Also, what’s wrong with Ted the Caver? It’s, by far, the best creepypasta I’ve ever read.

I haven’t read it in a while, I’ll give it a re-read today