Jokes

Time for some mildly entertaining (or rolling on the floor laughing) time. Try and come up with some good jokes. Anything topical, related to Tower Unite or just something irrelevant. I’ve scoured the forums as much as I can to see if this exists, and im still 80% sure im right. Try not to offend anybody in the process, but if you do you might want to apologize afterwards. Also try to keep repeats off the topic, the joke is funny; but not that funny. I encourage any form of joke, whether it be a pun, knock knock joke or a poem joke. Just try to keep anti-jokes off the list. I’m currently experiencing an earthquake so ima have to go.

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I don’t think you realize the mistake you have made. You see, I am a creator of puns. I have practiced the art of torture via jokes for years. Do you not believe me? Have a taste…

  • Graphing is something Microsoft Excels at.
  • I’ve never seen the problem with being blind.
  • Did you hear about the highly exclusive terrorist college? I hear most applicants bomb the entrance exam.
  • Did you know that dolphins had legs before they evolved? Once they began swimming, it de-feet-ed the porpoise.
  • Did you know that it’s hard for Australians to play chess? Once the king’s in danger, that’s check, mate.
  • If you want to move up in the mining industry, you will need to take a test. It’s nothing big, just a miner assessment.
  • We all have music in us, or at least a few organs.
  • I knew a wire who joined a band. He didn’t play an instrument; he was a conductor.
  • Did you know that children of bakers tend to become bakers themselves? It makes sense, they were bread for the job.
  • Did you hear that the thief Odysseus turned himself in? He said he couldn’t resist the siren’s call.
  • So a programmer walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Do you work with binary?” The programmer responds, “Off and on.”
  • Did you hear about the man who was beheaded by a window? It must have been a pane in the neck.

This is only a fraction of my full arsenal of puns. You have been warned.

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Oh… oh god no… What have I done !!!

I died slightly.

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You could say you’re a…

#punny guy!

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Was that Punintentional?

Time for old joke

I opened a door for a clown once. It was a nice jester.

A guy submitted 10 puns to a newspaper pun contest hoping to win some cash prizes. He looked at the newspaper on the day of the contest and looked to see if his puns made it on the newspaper. No pun in ten did.

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US President, George W Bush, recently announced he was joining The Byrds for their next tour. Bush claims he will be playing both guitar and drums. Press releases say, “A Bush in the band is worth two in The Byrds.”

Do the police bother to tell a mime he has the right to remain silent?

A blind man walks into a bar… and a chair… and a table.

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My Friend is a musician that loves swimming.

He calls himself a tuba-diver.
(another joke is that bump)

An irishman walks out of a bar.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger

then it hit me

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