Useless superpowers

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I can read a whole book and remember everything in just 2 seconds the problem is that i donā€™t know how to read (does that make sense ?)

I have the ability to generate poison from a gland in which I can extract fromā€¦
ā€¦but Iā€™m not resistant to said poison and must extract it daily or suffer consequences.

I have the ability to stop producing mucus!

My stomach acid is burning through my entire body as we speak.

I can brew alcohol with nothing but bread.
Itā€™s happening in my stomach so Iā€™m always drunk

I can see in the dark like a cat, when thereā€™s a source of light nearby

Off topic: Isnā€™t that just a catā€™s sight?

On topic: I am extremely talented at art but terrible at everything else.

@CalculatorSpoon
Yes please

Iā€™m really good at any game I want to be

But the games have to be only for one player.

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Off topic: That would make you great for speedrunning specific games!

On topic: I can create fun maps but can only play them alone, and can never share them.

Bad trouble.

The thread bumper. You can bump every forum thread. But once they realise that YOU bumped it they completely ignore the thread so that no one ever responded.

The ability to stop time, only when its stopped.

The power to be invisible when no one is around

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the power to kill anyone at will but only after they die

The ability to be a dog

The ability to watch superminecraftkid videos without getting brain cancer.

Super Speed! Too bad you also need invincibility to not die instantly from crashing into a wall and also it gives motion sickness.

The ability to make this thread great again! Unfortunatly, my ability comes at a costā€¦ Iā€™ve lost my mind because of it. (For 5 Mins)

Being good at Virus but with 200 ping

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